November 9, 2026 · 2:02 AM EST · November 8, 11:02 PM PST · November 9, 7:02 AM UTC
Yesterday, I found myself standing in the middle of my kitchen making pancakes and taking mental inventory of everything I was carrying, everything I was responsible for, and all the ways I'd managed to make myself available to everyone and everything except myself in this season.
Today, as I write this, I've completed day 40 of my personal practice for the 40-day Expansion Lab inside the Devotion Lab. Forty days of befriending my ego and my highest, most unbound self, examining my relationship with expansion, taking intentional action toward the life I want to experience, and coming face to face with the parts of myself that are still very much invested in keeping things exactly as they've always been.
The timing of yesterday's realization was almost comical. Here I am, at the end of a practice devoted to expanding beyond my perceived limitations, recognizing that one of the greatest limitations I'm working with is a version of myself I've been trying to lay to rest for years.
The woman who serves, who anticipates, who takes care of things before anyone has to ask, who can make an entire day disappear into the needs of other people and somehow convince herself that she's simply being loving, responsible, and helpful…
Listen, I love being of service. I've devoted much of my life to it, and I know that my desire to care for others comes from a very genuine place in my Cancer Rising, Cancer Moon heart.
I'm also aware of how easily that devotion can become tangled up with people-pleasing, with the need to be useful, needed, appreciated, and ultimately, validated.
I've spent enough time unraveling the braids in my own psyche to know that the roots of this pattern are DEEP, and they reach into so many corners of my life.
Baby Melanie, NYC, 12-years-old.
As a Caribbean American woman of Cuban and Dominican descent, I grew up witnessing generations of women carry the emotional, domestic, and practical weight of entire families. Women who loved fiercely, worked tirelessly, and were expected to make themselves available to everyone around them…especially the men.
There's a particular kind of conditioning that comes with being a daughter, an eldest daughter, a first-generation American, and eventually a mother, where your ability to care for everyone else becomes so closely associated with your goodness that you hardly think to question it.
Then there's my Catholic school upbringing, where obedience, self-sacrifice, and being a “good and holy” girl were woven into my understanding of what it meant to be worthy of love and approval. I've written about this here, and I am often confronted with how much of that early conditioning has braided itself into my being.
Of course, these expectations extend far beyond my ancestry or religious upbringing. Women are taught in countless ways to revolve their lives around the needs of others, with motherhood often deepening the expectation until having needs of our own begins to feel like an inconvenience.
Layer all of that with my desire to be loved, recognized, and validated, and you begin to see how a genuine gift for service can become a very elaborate way of negotiating for safety.
I'm recounting this here because it's inflamed for acknowledgement, but I’ve known this about myself for a while. In fact, I've made enormous life decisions in devotion to these aspects of my ego/bound self. (Which is what makes this all so frustrating.)
I chose to have one child because I knew what I had the capacity to give to motherhood while still having room to just be myself. I've turned down opportunities, experiences, and entire directions my life could have taken because I knew what they would require of me. My family and I recently moved to the suburbs to be closer to nature, to experience more quiet, and to create an environment that better supports the way I want to live and raise my child…
I'm very aware of my needs and have made room for myself in the architecture of my life. Yet somehow, in the ordinary moments that make up my days, I keep finding ways to fill that room with everybody else's needs.
I've spent years trying to release this version of myself. She's been the subject of countless Full Moon rituals, EMDR sessions with my therapist, sadhanas, prayers, intentions, and some of the most intimate healing work I've ever done.
I've cried over her, loved her, forgiven her, and thanked her for everything she did to help me feel safe in the world. That work has absolutely changed my life. I can feel the distance between who I was and who I've become.
Still, there she was, staring back at me in anguish with a phone full of unanswered texts and ten different to-do lists waiting to be prioritized. Alive and well, because I keep bringing her back to life.
There's something deeply humbling about recognizing yourself as the common denominator in an experience you've been working so hard to change.
Especially when you understand where the pattern came from, have compassion for its roots, and have already done so much to heal the wounds underneath it.
I hold myself accountable and also have so much grace with myself because I know — thanks to the hundreds of Alignment Sessions I’ve had the pleasure of facilitating — that so many of us experience something similar.
We spend years excavating our wounds, understanding our conditioning, forgiving the people and circumstances that shaped us, and honoring the versions of ourselves that helped us survive. Yet we can still find ourselves recreating the very experiences we've worked so hard to move beyond.
There's a particular kind of darkness we encounter when we recognize our own participation in what keeps us bound. It's uncomfortable AF to admit that the patterns we've come to know so intimately are still being fed by the daily choices we make, especially when those choices have become second nature.
But there's also so much possibility in that honest recognition.
If we can see the ways we're keeping something alive, we can begin to choose differently. We can allow the discomfort of an unfamiliar response, an unmet expectation, or a boundary that disappoints someone to become part of the process of transformation.
This is the deep, dark, murky water humans so often want to avoid. The place where our awareness meets our responsibility, where the identities we've outgrown begin to dissolve, and where something new can finally take form.
There's an alchemy in being willing to see ourselves this clearly and allowing that truth to change how we live.
I find it incredibly fitting (and not a coincidence at all) that the culmination of my practice and this realization arrived beneath the darkness of a New Moon in Scorpio.
Scorpio is the sign of death, rebirth, and transformation, and this particular New Moon is forming a square to Mars, its traditional ruler. There's something about this configuration that speaks to the moment when all of our inner excavation begins asking something very specific of us in the physical world.
What are we going to choose?
What are we willing to cut away?
Which parts of our old lives are we still keeping alive through the decisions we make every day?
Which brings me to the astrology…
New Moon in Scorpio | November 9, 2026
Early Monday morning, the Sun and Moon met at approximately 17° Scorpio, beginning a new lunar cycle that invites us into the depths of our being.
The Sun (conscious identity, vitality, self-expression) and Moon (emotions, instincts, subconscious patterns) coming together in the same sign magnifies its energy. With both luminaries in Scorpio, our attention turns toward the fears, desires, attachments, and unconscious patterns that shape our experiences.
Scorpio is a fixed water sign traditionally ruled by Mars (action, desire, courage) and associated with Pluto (power, transformation, rebirth) in modern astrology. Its themes are closely connected to the eighth astrological house, which governs intimacy, sex, shared resources, inheritances, debts, and the ways we exchange energy and power with others.
Represented by the scorpion and the phoenix, Scorpio embodies both our instinct to protect what feels familiar and our capacity to transform through surrender, release, and rebirth.
How fitting that this New Moon arrives in Autumn, when nature is shedding what has completed its cycle. Fallen leaves decompose and nourish the soil for future growth, reminding us that death and creation are intimately connected.
New Moons are ripe for planting intentions for the months ahead. In Scorpio, we're being asked to examine what we're still holding on to, what has already served its purpose, and what we're willing to release to make room for what is new, but especially, what is true.
With this New Moon forming challenging aspects to Mars, Jupiter, and the South Node in Leo, there's an added emphasis on the choices and actions required to participate in our own transformation.
What's Happening in the Cosmos?
Mars (action, desire, courage, conflict) in Leo (creativity, self-expression, pride, recognition) is forming a tense aspect to this New Moon. As Scorpio's traditional ruler, Mars emphasizes the decisions and actions required to move beyond familiar patterns. Frustration may be revealing where our needs, desires, or boundaries have been neglected.
Consider… Where is my frustration revealing something I need to address? What decision have I been avoiding?
Jupiter (expansion, abundance, opportunity, beliefs) in Leo is also in tense aspect to the New Moon, amplifying our desires for growth and the possibilities we're beginning to recognize. Jupiter encourages us to think BIG, while also reminding us to examine whether our ambitions are supported by our actual capacity.
Ask yourself… Am I making room for the expansion I desire, or am I continuing to fill my life with things that compete with it?
The South Node (past patterns, conditioning, release) in Leo forms a wider square to the New Moon, drawing our attention to familiar identities, our relationship with recognition and validation, and the ways old conditioning continues to influence our choices.
Reflect on… Who have I learned to be in order to feel loved, safe, or accepted? Which parts of that identity am I ready to outgrow?
Mercury (communication, thoughts, learning, information) Retrograde in Scorpio stations direct on November 13, following weeks of revisiting conversations, assumptions, and decisions. We're approaching an opportunity to communicate with greater clarity and apply the truths we've been uncovering.
Consider… What have I come to understand about myself or a situation that I can no longer pretend I don't know?
Venus (love, money, pleasure, values) Retrograde in Libra (relationships, balance, reciprocity, agreements) ALSO stations direct on November 13, following a retrograde that began October 3. This period has invited us to reconsider our relationships, desires, self-worth, and the ways we give and receive love.
Ask yourself… Where have I been compromising my values or needs to maintain harmony? What would greater reciprocity look like in my relationships?
Mars conjunct Jupiter in Leo on November 16 brings an amplification of courage, desire, expansion, and creative expression. There's powerful energy available for taking initiative, with an invitation to remain mindful of overcommitting ourselves or acting from urgency.
Reflect… What am I ready to pursue wholeheartedly, and what needs to be released to give it the time and energy it deserves?
With all of this happening within days of one another, we're being invited to consider how the awareness we've gained can begin influencing the choices we make.
The New Moon is Ideal For…
Going into the depths. Examine the fears, attachments, beliefs, and experiences you've been carrying, especially the ones you've been reluctant to acknowledge. There's so much to discover when we're willing to look beyond what's immediately comfortable.
Recognizing what you're keeping alive. Consider the patterns you've spent years trying to release and how they may still be showing up in your everyday decisions. What are you continuing to give your energy to?
Reclaiming your power. Look at where you've been giving away your time, attention, resources, or authority, and consider what needs to change for those exchanges to feel more balanced and intentional.
Making room for what you desire. Examine whether the way you're currently living has enough space for the relationships, creativity, pleasure, rest, and experiences you want to cultivate.
Making the decision. If something has been asking for your attention for weeks, months, or even years, consider what you've already learned and what it would take to begin moving differently.
Connecting personal and collective liberation. Consider how the patterns we're working to transform within ourselves are reflected in our families, communities, and larger systems. Where can greater self-awareness help us participate more consciously in the world we're creating together?
What to Be Mindful Of…
Reacting instead of responding. Mars’ energy can bring frustration and impatience to the surface. Give yourself room to understand what you're feeling before making decisions that have lasting consequences.
Taking on more than you can sustain. Jupiter can encourage us to dream BIG, but expansion also requires capacity. Be conscious of what you're committing your time, energy, and resources to.
Holding on out of familiarity. Scorpio and Leo are both fixed signs, which can make change particularly uncomfortable. Notice where loyalty, pride, fear, or attachment may be keeping you invested in something/someone you've already outgrown for your highest good.
Expecting immediate clarity. Mercury and Venus stationing direct doesn't mean every question will suddenly be answered. Both planets will continue moving through their post-retrograde shadows, giving us more time to understand and apply what we've learned.
Mistaking awareness for action. Recognizing what needs to change is an important part of transformation, but our choices are what give that awareness life. This applies to the ways we care for ourselves, show up in our relationships, and participate in our communities.
Take a look at your own birth chart. Which sliver of your birth chart pie belongs to Scorpio? That's the area of your life where this New Moon is inviting you to begin a new cycle of awareness and transformation.
As you consider your intentions, think about what you'd like to bring into being over the next six months, leading up to the Full Moon in Scorpio in April 2027.
Let's Talk About Self-Care…
With so much emphasis on emotional excavation, release, and transformation, it's important to consider how we're caring for ourselves through these experiences.
Scorpio is a water sign, and water is associated with our emotional world, intuition, and the things we carry beneath the surface. In traditional astrological correspondences, Scorpio is associated with the reproductive organs and elimination, connecting symbolically with the processes of creation, release, and renewal.
Nervous system regulation can be particularly supportive when we're examining deeply ingrained patterns, confronting uncomfortable truths, or making decisions that challenge what has historically felt safe.
Taking the cosmic energy of this moment into account, self-care can look like:
Breathwork and meditation. Give yourself time to become aware of what's happening in your body before attempting to make sense of everything in your mind. Even a few minutes of intentional breathing can create space between what you're feeling and how you choose to respond. And can be especially grounding before reflecting with something like journaling.
Spending time with water. Take a bath, sit near a body of water, or enjoy a long shower with the intention of allowing yourself to soften and release. Stay hydrated, too.
Sensual, intuitive movement. Dance, stretch, sway your hips, or move in whatever way feels supportive. Allow yourself to experience your body without needing to accomplish anything through the movement.
Making room for rest and solitude. Give yourself permission to be unavailable, to enjoy your own company, and to experience moments where nothing is being asked of you.
Practicing your boundaries. Consider one small, tangible decision you can make today that honors your capacity, your needs, or the life you're working to create.
A Little Support From the Devotion Lab™
Transformation is something we participate in through the choices we make and the practices we return to each day. This is at the heart of the Devotion Lab™, our membership community devoted to intentional living through meditation, breathwork, movement, self-inquiry, and shared well-being practices.
We've just completed our 40-day Expansion Lab, but you can begin the practice whenever you feel called. All of our previous 14-, 30-, and 40-day Labs, complete with written and video resources, are available to members alongside our growing library of classes, teachings, and community experiences. Explore the Devotion Lab™ here.
I'd love to hear how this New Moon is showing up in your life. What are you being called to release, and what questions are alive in you right now? Share your reflections in the comments below.
If you'd like to receive more Cosmic Insights, subscribe to my mailing list to be notified whenever a post or offering is published.
Stay safe. Stay intentional.
With you in deep care,
Melanie Santos